


Better Than Me

by ForTheLoveOfNirvana



Series: Extreme Behavior [6]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-13
Updated: 2017-06-13
Packaged: 2018-11-13 14:08:24
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,038
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11186721
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ForTheLoveOfNirvana/pseuds/ForTheLoveOfNirvana
Summary: This is part 6





	Better Than Me

That night sleeping with Dean was easy but I was still a little unsure of the second chance that I had given him. I still wasn’t quite sure that he deserved a second chance. I also thought that maybe he deserved much better than me but good luck telling Dean Winchester that. I had woken up before Dean which was normal but I had also woken up before Sam and now that was not normal.

        I walked out into the kitchen of the bunker and started making some coffee and some breakfast. I had my phone with me so I turned on my music and Better Than Me by Hinder was playing. I danced around the kitchen while the coffee brewed and I collected the ingredients to make myself some breakfast. A solid two hours late Sam and Dean woke up and rolled out of bed still looking like zombies.

        “Sam, Dean, the pair of you look like zombies. Did you two sleep long enough or what?” I questioned.

        “Becca it’s too early for your kind of humor.” Dean said groggily.

        “How long have you been up Becca?” Sam asked clearly in a better mood than Dean was.

“I’ve been up for a couple of hours.” I said just sitting there sipping my coffee. “I’ve combed the internet for two hours and I haven’t caught wind of a case that another hunter doesn’t already have covered. So it looks to me like we actually have a few days off.” I said with somewhat happy smile. In all honesty I was hoping for a case so that way I could submerge myself in work and not think about the fact that Dean Winchester could do so much better than me.

        “Well that sounds great in that case I’m going back to bed.” Dean said as he walked out of the kitchen and back towards the room in the bunker that we now shared yet again.

        “Well it didn’t take long for Dean to want to go back to bed did it?” Sam stated more like a question.

        “No it did not.” I said with a small light giggle.

        My mind began to wander to how many things didn’t feel right with Dean. Every since I had said that it was over between us the first time. I felt like he deserved much better than me. I felt like I was no longer good enough for him and I wanted to leave earth and leave it for good.

        So I made a promise to myself as soon as Sam and Dean went to bed for the night I was going to leave and get rid off all the pain I felt once and for all. I couldn’t stand to live anymore I just wanted to die and finally be at peace because I knew that peace was something that I couldn’t achieve while I was still living.

        That day drug on forever Sam and Dean spent most of the Day watching T.V., Dean didn’t say much to me and that made me feel ten times worse than I already did. I wanted him to say something to me to say anything but he didn’t

        It was like midnight when Sam and Dean finally decided to go to bed. Dean asked me if I was coming I told him I’d be there in a little bit. I just wanted him and Sam to be sound asleep before I left to go find my peace. Leaving the bunker that night without saying goodbye to Sam and Dean was hard but I knew it would  be harder to do what I needed to do if I said goodbye.

        Once I was sure they were asleep I went out of the bunker door as quietly as I could so that way I didn’t risk waking one of the brothers. Once out to my car and down the road a bit I turned on my radio and once again Better Than Me by Hinder started to play. That only made me cry because it reminded me that Dean and Sam both deserved much better than me with my constant nagging, arguing and yelling. All I did for those boys was fuck shit up and hurt them so I figured hurt them both one more time so that way I could never hurt them again.

        I drove two towns over and got a motel room the only thing I took with me was my phone and my loaded pistol. I didn’t take anything else because I wouldn’t be alive long enough to need anything else. When I got to the motel room and got inside I pulled my gun loaded the chamber and pressed the cool barrel right to my temple.

        I said my goodbyes to Sam and Dean right there where I stood in that motel room even though they would never be able to hear my goodbye. I left the GPS on my phone on so when the realized that I was missing they could track me. I counted down from three and pulled the trigger blowing my brains everywhere as I dropped to the floor lifelessly.

 

**Back at the Bunker**

        “Becca!” Dean called for me but I was no where to be found and he still didn’t know that I had blown my head off in a motel room two towns over.

        “Still can’t find her Dean?” Sam asked worry starting to color his puppy like features.

        “No I can’t I’m gonna track her phone.” Dean said as he went to the computer and started imputing my cell number. When the trace was complete it showed that I was two towns over.

        It took the two of them maybe two hours to get there but when they opened the door. They found me laying lifeless on the floor of the motel room gun in my hand and bullet wound to the temple. I looked like a mess barely recognizable.

        “Becca!” Dean yelled as he ran over to my lifeless cold body. He broke down when he found the note that just said.

 

_“Goodbye Sam. Goodbye Dean. I’m sorry that I kept hurting you both but good news I can’t hurt you anymore.”_


End file.
